


I Want To Know What Love Is

by nomisunrider



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/F, Galas, Georgiou in a suit, Misunderstanding, Mutual Pining, Ongoing Consent, Realistic Sex (in my opinion), Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 17:48:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16644911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomisunrider/pseuds/nomisunrider
Summary: It is a straightforward objective. The opening gala of a science conference, a mere few hours of socializing and networking before returning to the ship.It is not a date.Despite this stark reality, something about this night does not line up, and Michael Burnham wishes, not for the first time, that Human relationships could be simple.





	I Want To Know What Love Is

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Radiolaria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radiolaria/gifts).



> I wrote this as response to a prompt on Tumblr and (shockingly) it got out of hand.
> 
> Then I realized that I prefer reading fic on Ao3, and also not all of you guys have tumblrs, so I am posting it here as well.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

The dress fits like a dream.

Deep, dark silver, the hem extends to the floor, coiling around Michael’s legs in shifting spirals of fabric. Thin tulle in the same color acts as delicate straps over her shoulders, and Michael observes the overtness of her collarbones, the divot of her sternum between twin lines of fabric. The dress dips equally low at her back, dropping to a point just below her shoulder blades and exposing smooth skin typically hidden beneath a uniform jacket.

It is only the opening gala of a scientific conference, and there is no logical reason for such an event to be so formal, but Michael has grown used to the Human tendency to inconvenience themselves by insisting on dressing up for any and all occasions.

Nevertheless, she has to admit that the dress is indeed lovely.

Keyla and Joanne had both squealed upon seeing Michael come out of her bathroom wearing it during the impromptu fitting session two days prior. Michael is pleased to note that perhaps these reactions were warranted.

Michael applies a scant amount of makeup, not wanting to overly weight her eyelashes or risk smearing should certain…activities…occur after this event.

Not that this is in any way guaranteed.

Starfleet parties, away-missions, and of course, those handful of memorable instances in the hot, primal setting of the _Shenzhou_ ’s sparring chambers over the past year…

It isn’t sex _._

Not even close.

Yet.

But as to what exactly _it_ is, well…Michael cannot really say.

They _are_ friends, of course, Michael reflects as she exits her quarters, proceeding down the corridor to the turbolift. Close friends, she would go so far as to say, and Michael treasures the deep bond they share, the confidences that Philippa has entrusted her with.

Still…

Michael’s fingers tap at her thighs as the lift descends through the belly of the ship.

Michael Burnham might not have been raised Human, but if she were to draw a conclusion from all of her research concerning typical Human relationship parameters, well…

It doesn’t seem at all typical for friends and colleagues to spend undisclosed numbers of minutes in dark, secret corners of a starship, kissing each other desperately before some alert or other puts an end to such business.

And certainly not on six separate occasions in one Earth year.

These thoughts continue to plague Michael has she proceeds down the corridor of Deck 12. She is fully aware of the astonished, appreciative stares towards her person that various passersby seem to be unable to conceal. Still, she keeps her gaze forward, her gait steady.

No need for such distractions, not when contemplating such vital matters.

Philippa has proven quite…skittish…in terms of discussing this.

Whatever _this_ is.

In the days after each incident, Philippa would be clipped and professional, avoiding lingering eye contact and extended off-duty interactions until some crisis or other befell the ship, wiping the occasion from both of their memories, and she and Michael would be friends once more.

Michael shakes her head at the conundrum as she walks.

Sexual attraction…appetites kindled by the excitement of a black-tie social gathering or the elevated heartbeats and skin-to-skin contact of sparring…none of this indicates any deeper feelings on her captain’s part. Her behavior in the aftermath of each occurrence certainly proves as much.

 _They are mere lapses in judgment_ , Michael understands as she rounds the corner to the transporter room. _All Humans are prone to such absences of the mind._

_Even decorated Starfleet captains._

Philippa Georgiou is a notoriously consummate professional, and has been for the entirety of her twenty-five years of service.

It would be illogical for Michael to get her hopes up.

Whatever track her train of thought had been on takes a sharp, veering turn when Michael catches her first glimpse of Philippa, perched on the transporter pad and chatting happily with Ensign Chan.

Michael’s feet seem to leave the ground at the sight of her captain’s choice of eveningwear. A crisp, fitted tuxedo, black as the depths of space, and matching tailored dress pants that hug her slim legs, accentuating the corded muscles of her thighs. A white button-up shirt peaks out from between the open flaps of the jacket, cutting a sharp, alluring contrast with Philippa’s dark hair, now loose and cascading in gentle waves over her shoulders.

Stanzas of Vulcan love poetry fill Michael’s mind, but before her mouth has the chance to form words, Ensign Chan chimes in.

“You look lovely, Commander Burnham.”

The honest, eager statement snaps Michael out of her daze.

Her Vulcan controls fall across her mind once more, stilling her heart where it lies spasming in her chest. She tugs her eyes away from Philippa’s striking figure, noting that her captain’s mouth is moving; no sound seems to be coming out, and Michael chalks it up to her own stupefaction.

_Get ahold of yourself._

She can reminisce over Philippa’s stunning figure later, in the privacy of her own quarters, perhaps with the small device she keeps the bottom drawer of her dresser, hidden beneath her nightclothes…

Right now, she is a representative of Starfleet.

She has to stay focused.

Philippa smiles at her, a close-lipped but genuine smile, and heat springs to Michael’s cheeks despite her best efforts.

“Care to join me, Number One?”

Philippa holds out her arm, and Michael manages a nod. She ascends the several steps to the transporter pad. A quick downward glance indicates the shape her quad muscles cut beneath the rippling fabric of her dress, the play of her dark skin against the murky silver and black fabric…

Michael is comforted to know that at the very least, she can confidently stand next to Philippa tonight, armed with the knowledge that she looks just as alluring.

Philippa seems to agree, if the flickers of her eyes at Michael’s dress are anything to go by.

Michael threads her arm through Philippa’s proffered elbow. She turns on a heel to stand beside her on the pad, looking silently ahead as Ensign Chan readies the transporter.

_On Philippa’s arm for the night…_

And for one magical moment, Michael Burnham allows herself to imagine that this is not the opening gala of a scientific conference that they are beaming down to.

In some whimsical, non-Vulcan part of her mind, Michael imagines an alternate universe where she and Philippa are not on duty, where they are not mere Captain and Commander…perhaps they are attending the wedding of a friend, or going to a nice restaurant together, and Philippa’s fond smile hides deeper emotion beneath, and she will take Michael’s hand in her slim, strong fingers and hold it tightly throughout the night, and they will talk about what people who like each other very much talk about, though Michael is uncertain of what, exactly, this might be, and hours will pass like mere minutes as time stands still between them…

And they will return to Philippa’s quarters at the end of the night, giddy with happiness, and Philippa will smile and kiss Michael slowly, tenderly, and lie her down on the bed and make her feel all of the things that Michael cannot help but feel in the half-awake hours of the early morning, when all seems possible in the dream-like state of reality…

And when it is over, they will hold each other in the afterglow and drift off together beneath the blue light of warp, sated and content, and Philippa will snuggle in close to Michael, her beautiful face glowing with joy, and whisper to her---

“Ready, Commander?”

Michael blinks, and is back on the transporter pad, arm in arm with her captain, who is looking at her curiously.

_Get ahold of yourself._

She nods briskly, turning her face back towards front-and-center.

Philippa’s voice is firm and professional.

“Energize.”

 

 

 

The evening passes quickly.

Michael had been worried, of course, at the prospect of boring conversation, pointless socializing and endless small talk, but somehow, none of this comes to pass.

Instead, Philippa gently guides Michael around the cavernous ballroom and introduces her to various science officers and specialists. Many are leaders in their fields, and Michael finds herself happily discussing the latest discoveries. They are only too willing to share their own research, and after several hours of discussion, Michael’s mind is positively swimming with science and theory.

Philippa keeps pace with her, occasionally flitting across the floor to the side of some dignitary or another, greeting them warmly with hugs or air-kisses. Michael is pleased to see her captain in a state of such joy, mingling with old friends and comrades, and often catches Philippa looking back at her from across the room with an almost _fond_ look on her face.

Still, Michael chides herself, there is no logic in preoccupying herself with what is merely a fantasy, an imagining spun in her illogical non-Vulcan mind and brought to life with intense Human emotion.

She focuses on what Specialist Truila is saying about temporal anomalies lodged within the Galgari Nebula like flies trapped in amber. And Truila _is_ attractive, Michael notes. Taller than her, slightly soft in the middle, with a charming smile and warm brown eyes. Those eyes have darted over Michael’s figure with appreciation no less than five times during this conversation, and Michael can certainly say that the appreciation is mutual.

Specialist Truila, of the private science vessel _Ballena Estrella,_ presently docked mere decks away from this ballroom…

How easy it would be, to suggest that Truila show her around the ship in order to familiarize her with the labs and cutting edge tech, and then perhaps…educate her as to what private specialist quarters on a contracted research vessel look like…

How simple it would be, for Michael to drown her affection for her out-of-reach captain in the warm body of another, as she had done numerous times in the past.

“May I cut in?”

Philippa’s voice interrupts Truila’s excited explanation of the mysterious rotational inertia of the multiple gravitational centers within the nebula. Michael feels just a touch of annoyance; Truila’s research  _was_ quite fascinating—

But Philippa is pulling out her communicator, the screen indicating the _Shenzhou_ ’s new assignment, which, if the lightyear distance is any indicator…

“We will need to depart within… _ten minutes_?”

Michael is quite certain of her calculations; no, the question is more aimed toward Starfleet Command, as this new mission seems inexplicably inconvenient.

Philippa grimaces as she pockets the communicator.

“Not at all ideal, Number One, but we’ve had a lovely evening up until now, at least?”

Michael looks to Truila and back to Philippa. She nods once in concession, and her smile is small, but genuine.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Commander.” Truila’s voice is kind and honest, but Michael can sense a note of loss in the tone.

“You should send me your data,” she suggests warmly. They exchange contact information, and Michael is fully aware of Philippa’s eyes upon her as they do so.

The tightness of her face as they leave the ballroom does not go unnoticed either.

“Strange that Starfleet would send the _Shenzhou_ on this mission, of all ships,” Michael tries as she trots in Philippa’s wake. “After dispatching us to this conference over one hundred lightyears away.”

“Starfleet didn’t send us here,” Philippa answers shortly, cutting a fine figure in her suit as she strides down the corridor.

“What?”

Philippa looks at Michael now, and looks away just as quickly.

“I thought—“ Michael stumbles slightly, her heels clacking on the false-wood floor as she tries to figure out what is happening. “I thought…we were dispatched here, you and I? A slightly extended shore leave?”

“Not quite,” Philippa denies. Her face is blank, but Michael can hear an odd undercurrent in her voice.

If she did not know better, she would say that Philippa is being downright cagey at the moment _._

“So...Starfleet does not know that we’re here?”

This would explain the inexplicably sudden dispatch to a system one hundred and twelve lightyears away from their current docking at Starbase Six.

It isn’t enough information to make any type of conjecture, or even come close to one.

Michael feels annoyingly off-balance. She understands it an aspect of her scientist mind, this utter detestation of when given information and starting parameters prove false, leaving her confused and scrambling and _incorrect._

“Starfleet does not,” Philippa clarifies. They round the corner, and the light of the red giant Atraxi glows orange through the windows. Philippa’s tumbling hair catches the light, and it bounces and refracts wonderfully as she walks with purpose.

Michael’s breath catches in her chest.

“Then…” Michael shakes her head to clear it. “How did we get into this event?”

This invite-only scientific conference of top researchers in the field quantum relativity and stellar gravity-related phenomena…

“I called in a few favors,” Philippa answers shortly. They enter the Mid-Level transporter room, and she strides purposefully towards the pads, not looking at Michael as she does so.

Michael feels inexplicably stung.

She takes several quick steps, trotting awkwardly in low heels, until she is in front of her captain on the raised pad.

“Philippa—Have I done something wrong?”

Philippa looks at Michael now. She sighs, before looking away.

“No Michael, you haven’t. You’ve done nothing wrong.” She shakes herself ever so slightly, and when she looks back up, her features are warm once more, if not a little bit strained. “I apologize…I suppose I’m a little disappointed at having to leave so soon.”

Michael snorts softly. “We’ve been here for nearly two hours, Captain.”

“I was enjoying myself, Number One.” Philippa’s tone is playfully defensive now, and Michael smiles at it.

The hazy feeling of transport barely interrupts their conversation.

“Truly?” Michael raises her eyebrows once they fully rematerialize before the bulbs of the _Shenzhou_ ’s lateral vector transport hub. “You were enjoying your conversation concerning the antimatter theory of quantum relativity within the confines of binary pulsar gravity fields?”

“Immensely,” Philippa smirks. They leave the transporter room side by side. “Particularly the notion of field variants contained within the accretion disks, possibly caused by the impacts of sub-atomic anti-particles made stable by their near-light speed trajectories.”

Michael is momentarily lost for words.

Philippa casts a smile and a pointed nod in her direction as she enters the turbolift, and heat blooms in Michael’s cheeks as she follows.

By the stars, the reason why Michael should find such words issuing from the mouth of her captain so damn alluring is entirely beyond her grasp.

Philippa glances sideways glance at Michael, her dark eyes dancing with mirth.

Okay, so perhaps the reason is not _entirely_ beyond her grasp.

 

 

 

The warm blue of warp is dancing outside of the long window of Philippa’s quarters by the time they arrive.

It is not the first time that Philippa has invited her inside so that Michael might observe the warp patterns outside of the extensive transparent paneling. The window inside Michael’s own quarters is laughably tiny, and Michael vastly prefers looking out of this one.

And not merely because of its size.

Philippa leans languidly against the transparent steel, the very embodiment of contentment. Her jacket has been removed, leaving only the starched white shirt beneath. It hugs her slender frame in all the right places, and the rippling blue light of warp swirls across her pale skin, tracing mysterious shadows across Philippa’s warm, familiar features.

Michael feels lucky indeed that she gets to see such a wonderful sight.

“It’s a shame our time was cut short,” Philippa finally murmurs. “You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

Michael smiles and looks down at her hands.

“I was…” Michael answers honestly. “But I am happy to be here as well.”

 _Here_ on the _U.S.S. Shenzhou,_ Michael’s ship, her home of six years. _Here,_ with her comrades, so many wonderful friends, and her beloved captain, en route to their next adventure.

There is nowhere else in the universe that Michael would rather be.

Even as she thinks this, she takes in Philippa’s leonine form bathed in the flickering blue light of warp.

The cosmos do not compare.

Philippa’s rose-pink lips twitch into smile. “One day, when you are a captain of your own ship, you will have your own window to look out of.”

“Even on a ship like the _Solis_?”

Philippa snorts. “I would never let Starfleet Command put you on an _Eastman_ -class ship, Michael. Do you think me so heartless?”

Michael only smiles and looks back out at the mysterious light.

Philippa gives a mock gasp from beside her. “Unbelievable! You would still think that of me after tonight?”

“After tonight?” Michael raises a pointed eyebrow, leaning against the window with arms crossed.

Far from looking caught off-guard, Philippa only raises an eyebrow in return, jutting her chin in a challenging gesture.

“I got you into that conference, Number One. That was awfully kind of me, was it not?”

“It was,” Michael allows. She looks back towards the window.

The inputs still don’t line up, the data cluster is showing no discernable pattern. Michael cannot understand why she feels she is missing something.

“I just…wonder why you would choose to go with me, to such a boring science gala?”

“A chance to socialize?” Philippa suggests easily. Her eyes darken, and she casts a significant glance at the swirling fabric covering Michael’s torso. “To dress up, to see and…be seen?”

At that prompting, Michael’s eyes drop helplessly from Philippa’s face down her body, taking in the clean lines of her shirt, the curve her legs in black fitted trousers, the slim and perfect cut of her hips, accented by the striking color contrast where the two garments meet in the middle…

“Understandable,” Michael manages, voice croaking.

Philippa takes a step closer now, her face heartbreakingly beautiful in the deep blue light.

“Your dress is lovely…did I tell you that yet?”

Her voice seems oddly distant as her eyes rove across Michael’s face, down to her chest.

“You’re telling me now…”

Michael barely manages the words, so stunned she is by the pale ivory of Philippa’s skin, the crinkles near her eyes, the soft pink of her lips …

Philippa’s hand reaches out, and one long finger traces the strap of Michael’s dress. The heat of it paradoxically draws goosebumps in its wake.

“Joann and Keyla did a good job,” Philippa murmurs. “You look like a Roman goddess in this light.”

Michael’s face flares with heat.

“Thank you,” she manages. Philippa looks up at her now, so achingly close, her dark eyes glowing blue in the warp light…

There’s no telling who moves first.

But before Michael knows it, Philippa’s lips are on her own.

Michael’s eyes flutter shut as she grips the sides of Philippa’s shirt, kissing back with equal vigor.

All logic and sense falls away, par for the course, considering the utter senselessness of this act…kissing Philippa Georgiou in the privacy of the captain’s quarters, with no endgame other than the temporary contact high from Philippa’s mouth…

Philippa nips at Michael’s lower lip, sucking hard at it, and Michael whimpers despite her best efforts. By the stars, it has been four weeks, two days, eleven hours since their last incident, how on Earth had she survived for such an eternity?

She kisses back as best she can, pressing firmly against Philippa, teasing that clever mouth with light brushes of lips and teeth …

No alerts will bother them as long as the ship is in warp.

The thought sends a heady rush of exhilaration through Michael’s bloodstream. She pulls Philippa in tight to her, hugging her shapely frame as close as she can and kissing her desperately. Philippa’s hands come up to Michael’s face, cupping her cheeks in warm palms.

And in the next moment she pulls away. Bracing her forehead on Michael’s, Philippa breathes hard as she leans against her, her warm exhalations sending tingles down Michael’s neck.

“I want you so badly, Michael…” The words come out in a hoarse mumble, Philippa seems to be in some sort of daze as her fingers flit down Michael’s neck to trace at her exposed collarbones.

Michael barely manages her answer.

“Take me, then.”

With that, Philippa captures her lips in another searing kiss.

And in the next moment, her hot mouth is at Michael’s neck, exploring the sensitive skin of her throat with eager brushes of her lips.

_This is happening…_

Philippa’s hands grip her ribcage and press her back against the window, her body draping firmly against Michael’s to pin her there.

_This is happening…_

Michael tells her heart to slow down, she reaches for her Vulcan controls, her breathing, her rigorous training, but _oooh_ … she groans when Philippa finds a tender spot towards the back of her neck. Naturally, Philippa picks up on this and begins to attend to the spot with due diligence.

“Mmmh…” Michael manages, hot tingling sensation robbing her of her words. Her hands shake as they reach up to Philippa’s hair. Those messy waves of dark hair flowing over slim shoulders tucked beneath the starched white shirt…

“Hm.” Philippa smiles against her neck, and the mere action of lips moving across sensitive skin send warm pleasure up and down Michael’s spine. “Never thought I would be able make you speechless…”

Even in her compromised state, Michael still feels a spark of indignation.

“Really? That’s what you’re— _Ahhh_ …” A clever swirl of Philippa’s tongue silences Michael immediately.

The lavishing to her neck continues. Philippa’s lips move slightly lower, and quiet fingers slip one strap of Michael’s dress down her arm for better access. Light, ticklish kisses pepper Michael’s shoulder, her collarbone, making her gasp and quiver.

Not yet devoid of all of her defenses, Michael’s fingertips find the top of Philippa’s black dress pants. They reach upwards, climbing the fabric of Philippa’s shirt, searching, until…

“ _Ngh_ …” Philippa twitches suddenly, her mouth forming an “O” just below Michael’s ear. The sudden rush of air against her neck sends hot tingles of pleasure through nerves now lit up with stimulation. Still, Michael holds fast to what of shreds of focus she has remaining to rub at the nipples standing at attention beneath Philippa’s crisp shirt.

“You… _mmh_ …you should wait your turn,” Philippa admonishes in a shaking whisper into Michael’s neck.

Michael manages a snort. “Were we taking turns?”

Her thumbs continue their circles around stiff peaks. Philippa’s distraction is obvious in the tremble of her ribcage, the hitching in her breath, and Michael feels a rush of joyful exhilaration at her captain’s unsubtle display of pleasure. This entire experience is quickly overlaying the dozens, perhaps hundreds of fantasies in which Michael had previously indulged…

Never, ever had she imagined herself pressed against the window of her captain’s quarters, warp trails mere inches from her naked back as Philippa’s body drapes against her, squirming helplessly as Michael stimulates a particularly erogenous zone.

“You… _oh_ , you…” Michael feels Philippa’s lips twitch into smile against her neck, as well as a slight shake of her head. “Giving…as good as you…get,” she breathes, and Michael cannot help a twinge of pride. She considers placing a leg squarely between Philippa’s thighs, but realizes with some annoyance that the length and tightness of her dress would prevent such an action.

Instead, Michael’s fingers fly to the buttons of Philippa’s shirt. She quickly proceeds downward, slipping buttons out of their holes with deft, confident motions. Philippa begins shrugging out of the shirt as soon as Michael finishes with the last button, and Michael helps her ease her slim shoulders out of the fabric. Philippa’s quiet allowance of this, combined with her relative stillness as Michael dispatched the buttons…Michael wonders if she enjoys being undressed by a partner.

_A conjecture worthy of further exploration._

She reaches behind Philippa’s naked back, following the tight band of fabric to where it meets at her spine. Despite her best efforts towards calmness, Michael’s heart begins to pound in her chest, and hot blood rushes to her cheeks. Her hands shake, and she hopes, prays, _pleads_ to the cosmic forces of the universe that this will be an easy task, that her fingers won’t fail her now…

She finds the clasp of Philippa’s bra, but before she can do anything at all, Philippa’s tongue is meeting her earlobe, swirling gentle patterns around the cartilage of her left ear. Warm breath tingles through Michael’s ear canal, and a high-pitched yip escapes her chest when Philippa nips playfully at her tragus.

“Hmm…you like that…” Philippa observes in a whisper. She sucks at Michael’s earlobe, teasing the skin with gentle brushes of her teeth.

“ _Oooh_ …” Michael twitches at the sensation, not only that, but the throaty timbre of Philippa’s voice so close to her, so attentive, so _focused_ on Michael’s pleasure, of all things…

The very notion sends a spike of arousal down her spine, bursting between her legs in flare of unbearable heat, and her back arches helplessly against the transparasteel window. All notion of removing her partner’s bra are forgotten, and Michael can focus on nothing else but holding Philippa tightly to her as she presses her mouth to the sensitive skin below Michael’s ear.

“Oh you like that quite a bit, then…” The teasing tone in Philippa’s voice is all but palpable against her neck, and Michael throbs between her legs at the words. She flexes her thighs hard, hips squirming in an attempt to alleviate the ache.

“ _Philippa…_ ” she groans, shakily caressing the warm skin of Philippa’s back, scars and muscle now revealed to her in all of their staggering glory.

“Yes, love?”

Philippa’s body seems to freeze slightly after saying the words. Without dwelling upon why this might be, Michael takes the moment to pull herself together. Her fingers finally, _finally_ find the clasp of Philippa’s bra, and she unclips the wire fastenings in a mere moment.

Feeling almost foolishly proud of her achievement, Michael slides the straps off of Philippa’s slim shoulders. Her fingertips trace across delicate collarbones, down lateral muscles and biceps firm with whipcord strength. Philippa is still and silent as she does this, her eyes dark and lips slightly parted. Michael feels her shaking ever so slightly beneath her hands.

“Is this…okay?”

Warmth pools in Michael’s cheeks as she says the words. Somehow in all of her imaginings and fantasies, she had never anticipated the possibility that Philippa might not be receptive towards the entirety of her actions.

Philippa twitches slightly at the question. “Don’t you dare stop now, Number One.”

The raspiness of her voice leads Michael to believe that perhaps she misread Philippa’s body language.

Feeling somewhat foolish, Michael gives a quick nod. She averts her eyes as she guides Philippa’s arms out of the bra straps, letting the offending article fall to the floor somewhere nearby. After a quick, steadying breath, Michael dares to look up once more.

“Oh…”

The sigh leaves her chest as an audible vocalization. Michael blushes helplessly, both at her slip and at the sight of bare breasts and taut nipples exposed beneath the warp light.

And yet…

Perhaps the false light of warp is playing tricks on her, but Michael could _swear_ she sees Philippa’s own skin changing color as well, both her stunning face and the smooth expanse of her chest, turning not dark, as Michael’s own skin does, but a soft, wonderfully rosy shade.

She’s _stunning._

“You…you’re beautiful…” Michael’s voice is reduced to a mumble, and she blushes harder as she says the words.

By the stars, she has never, ever felt so off-kilter, so unbalanced, so _nervous_ , not once with any of her previous sexual partners. Michael wonders what could possibly be different about this encounter, when it is a person she knows so well, a person she cares deeply for, a person she--

Before Michael can continue along this line of thought, Philippa’s lips are meeting her own, softly this time, almost reverently. Michael’s hands slide up to play in long tresses of hair as Philippa kisses her gently, her soft lips caressing Michael’s own in a truly wonderful sensation…

The kiss continues without any further escalation. Moments slide by, and Michael feels herself falling into a daze while her body comes to life with tingling tugs of arousal. Philippa continues her soft ministrations, delivering warm pleasure to Michael’s mouth with light and tender brushes of her lips.

“You’re really good at this,” Michael manages to whisper during one of Philippa’s brief pauses for breath.

“I…” Philippa blinks several times, her cheeks dark, her eyes even darker. “Well…we’ve had some practice, haven’t we?”

Michael gives a surprised laugh at the words. “I suppose we have.”

She pulls Philippa back in to kiss her firmly. Her hands rise to Philippa’s chest once more, and Philippa moans at the sudden contact of Michael’s thumbs to her now-exposed breasts. The sound vibrates pleasantly against Michael’s lips, and hot desire tingles down Michael’s spine to pool between her legs.

With a sharp gasp, Philippa from breaks the kiss to squirm from the attentions to her nipples.

“ _Ah…_ Michael!” The whisper is high and desperate. Michael feels a sudden, desperate urge to rut against something, _anything_ to relieve the aching pressure between her legs.

“Philippa…please, I— _oh_ , I--I need you…”

Michael barely manages to grate out the words before Philippa is gripping her by the arms and spinning her away from the window. Michael’s knees buckle as they hit the edge of the bed. She lets out a surprised gasp as Philippa presses her backwards to lie on the smoothly made comforter.

“Should have waited your turn, hm?”

Philippa’s words are barely audible, so quickly do they leave her mouth; she seems far more preoccupied with tugging Michael’s dress downwards. A growl leaves her mouth when the task stymies her.

Michael squirms to an upright position. “There’s a zip at the back, just—“

She leans forward as Philippa’s arms wrap around her. Her fingertips flutter across Michael’s thoracic vertebrae in their search, and Michael shivers in spite of herself. Philippa finds the zip and deftly presses it down Michael’s spine, all the way to its end just above her sacrum.

Yet once this task is complete, Philippa’s flurry of frantic motion seems to slow to a near halt. Her movements become quiet and careful as her arms return to Michael’s front, as her fingertips play at the top of Michael’s dress. Michael blinks at the sudden mood change. She waits, silent and watchful, as Philippa’s dark eyes rove across her collarbones, as her lips open and close as if searching for words.

Finally, Philippa asks, “May I?”

Warm affection blooms in Michael’s chest at the question, so polite, so proper, not that she should have expected anything less from Captain Philippa Georgiou.

The response is foregone. “Please.”

And then Philippa is tugging the dress down, peeling it down Michael’s sides with care and reverence. The sensation of the dress coming slowly away from her body is quite new to Michael, and she considers the it with all of her Vulcan calm, her Human imagination…Michael wonders if this is what the buds in Amanda’s garden feel like, opening their petals in the morning light.

An errant thought crosses Michael’s mind, and a huff escapes her chest before she can stop it.

“What is it?” Philippa asks as she pulls the dress away.

“I was just…wondering if this was— _hah…_ ” She gives a brief gasp as Philippa’s fingertips brush a ticklish spot at her left side. “W-Where the term… “deflowered”… comes from.”

Philippa chuckles low in her throat. “An interesting conjecture, Number One. Let me know what your future research indicates.”

The last words come out sigh as Michael’s dress reaches her hips, revealing her torso in its entirety. Michael shivers as under Philippa’s roving gaze, and she swallows heavily at the sheeny darkness of her eyes.

To be so desperately exposed in front of her captain, who somehow, inconceivably _wants_ her like this…

So many years of longing coalesce just beneath Michael’s sternum, and her breath hitches at the stunning, heartbreaking _beauty_ of the woman in front of her.

By the stars, this is really, truly, _happening…_

“You’re trembling…are you sure you’re okay?

_Oh no…_

Michael closes her eyes in mortification, and Philippa cups her face in creased hands.

“I’m fine…I just…” Michael drops her head onto Philippa’s chest. She attempts to form words, even though the notion of doing so successfully terrifies her beyond belief. “I’ve…I’ve never…”

“Never…had sex?” Philippa finishes. Her voice is kind, if not slightly dubious. “It’s alright…we don’t have to—“

Michael can’t help it, she snorts with very little grace, her shoulders shaking with mirth beneath Philippa’s embrace. “No, no Philippa, it’s…definitely not that.”

“Okay…” Philippa’s confusion is palpable, and Michael resists the urge to giggle at it.

“No, it’s just…” Michael summons all of her courage to look up at the woman straddling her lap. Warp currents trail over Philippa’s face, adding an air of mystery to her delicate features. Her hair hangs in a rippling curtain, framing high cheekbones and soft pink lips, and her dark eyes glow in the flickering blue, soothingly warm and ice-cold all at once…

Michael is hit suddenly by a tidal wave of emotion, casting aside all of her logic, her control, any and all reserve she might have had. This desperate, aching fondness, caring, _adoration_ for this woman…for Philippa, who has come to mean _so much_ to her…

Michael’s cheeks become hot as coals, and she presses her face into Philippa’s chest.

 _I’ve never_ … _felt like this_ … _about anyone_ …

The words echo in Michael’s mind, over and over and over again.

But they do not pass her lips.

“I’m just…a little nervous, I suppose,” Michael finally manages to whisper.

But in the next moment, warm palms are framing Michael’s face, holding her cheekbones with aching gentleness. Philippa’s lips press to her forehead, and Michael feels a smile behind them.

“We can go slowly, Michael…as slow as you like…and we can stop whenever you like.”

“Uh huh…” Michael barely manages to mumble as Philippa slowly, carefully, mounts the bed to straddle Michael’s lap. Fingertips flutter softly, gently down her shoulders, across her collarbones. No doubt these are meant to be soothing gestures, but they only serve to fuel Michael’s now-desperate arousal.

“And you _will_ tell me, if you want to stop?”

“I…Yes, of course.” The answer seems to Michael quite obvious. “But I--…I _really_ don’t want to stop, Philippa…”

The words come out in a rush, and Philippa laughs softly.

“Okay, then.”

Philippa’s eyes finally, finally drop lower, to Michael’s exposed chest, and her lips part ever so slightly. Michael’s breath hitches, her nipples hardening almost _painfully_ under her captain’s hungry gaze.

“Oh these are… _exquisite…_ ” Philippa breathes.

Her hands come up in an almost worshipful manner, and Michael’s fingers tighten their grip on the comforter. Fingernails brush teasingly across Michael’s clavicles, her sternum, her ribcage, outlining her breasts with sizzling, barely-there contact. Michael twitches and squirms helplessly at the touches, and in some muted, hazy part of her mind, she wonders how in the galaxies this woman could have such a staggering effect on her, when previous lovers had come nowhere close.

What might happen when Philippa finally touches her _there_ …

“ _Oooh…_ ” Michael sighs, her spine arching at the very idea of such contact.

And the next moment, a hot flare of _pleasure_ lances through her body upon Philippa’s first, almost tentative contact to her stiff, straining peaks. A high-pitched moan rips from Michael’s chest, and she descends into shaking, gasping whimpers.

“Oh _yes_ , Philippa, _please,_ like that…”

Philippa’s fingers stroke her lightly, carefully, but with extreme precision, tracing at nipples already so desperately sensitized from arousal. Michael’s head rears back, her chest thrust forward. Fiery tingles shoot through her breasts, down her spine at the stimulation, her sex growing hot and aching with the heady joy of it all.

“ _Ahh.._ oh yes, _yes_ …” Michael allows the pleased groans to escape without any type of embarrassment. Strangely, the idea of being so completely on display, so utterly undone in front of Philippa, her _captain_ …

The thought robs her of her breath for a moment.

And in the moment after, Philippa is pushing her flat on her back in the bed. Michael does not have even have time to gasp before Philippa is halfway down her chest and taking a hard nipple between her lips.

Michael _wails_ as hot, tingling waves of pleasure sings down her spine at the glorious sensation. Philippa escalates, her mouth making firm clever motions, and Michael’s clit tingles with each lap of her tongue, every nip of her teeth. The pressure builds, throbbing, burning _pressure_ between her legs, making Michael squirm where she lies trapped between Philippa’s thighs.

With no warning, Philippa switches sides. She swirls her tongue hard, and her hand comes up to caress the first nipple, now wet and tender from the previous attentions. And _oh,_ by the stars, that teasing, tickling sensation delivered by her captain’s fingers, to this particular spot of all places…

Her sex gives a sudden, delicious throb, and Michael groans, squeezing her thighs tightly together in a desperate attempt to subdue the inevitable.

And in the next moment, her hips jerk when Philippa goes from swirling to sucking. The sensation starts off gentle, but intensifies quickly as Philippa seems to realize how much Michael enjoys it.

Michael shakes and thrashes beneath Philippa as her captain continues to lavish attention on her breasts. Her sex _aches_ now, her clit throbbing with each pass of Philippa’s tongue, each firm purse of her lips, each flick of her thumb over sensitive, stimulated nipples. Her hips buck as much as they can, pinned between Philippa’s strong thighs, and Michael lets out a high-pitched moan at the very idea of _this,_ being pinned down and helpless as her captain’s elegant fingers tease and torture her into insanity…

And to both her intense pleasure and eternal embarrassment, Michael comes hard and fast between Philippa’s thighs.

Her core erupts in hot agony, and she clenches and spasms with the waves of unbearable pleasure, her legs twisting helplessly against the bed.

“ _Ahhh.._ Philippa! I-- I luh---”

Michael clamps down on the cry just in time, gritting her teeth as orgasm powers through her. The pleasure is overwhelming, endless and unbearable, and-- _Oh!_ By the stars and galaxies above, it’s so much, it’s so much, it’s _too much…_

 _…_ but just as soon as Michael thinks this, the feeling begins to subside. The tremors ease, and the agonizing waves of pleasure fade and ebb and turn to ripples. Light tingles of sensation dart from the hot place between her thighs, and Michael shivers with each delicious aftershock. Panting, she slowly, slowly returns to herself.

Philippa is hovering above her somewhere, Michael knows this. She closes her eyes for a moment to gather herself, to reach for her Vulcan control before the post-coital rush of Human hormones overcomes her mind and addles her logic, causing her to bare her heart and speak the truth, to say something she cannot take back…

 _T_ _hat was already too close…_

Michael opens her eyes.

The sight nearly undoes her once more.

Philippa looks quite like she’s been pole-axed, her eyes wide and stunned, her pupils blown to swirling pools of blackness. Her typically neat hair is mussed and disheveled, and her high cheekbones glow a bright, delectable pink, visible even in the low light of warp.

 _She’s breathtaking_ , Michael realizes dazedly.

And not only that…but she looks almost like…

_Like.._

“Did-- Did you--?”

Michael’s eyes flick downward as she blurts the question. Philippa jerks from whatever reverie she been lost in. She looks baffled for a brief moment, before letting out a quick huff.

“No.” Philippa snorts the response, but the sound is somewhat blunted in her obvious state of arousal. “Though…it was a near thing, I would say.”

She leans down as Michael squirms up, and their lips meet somewhere in the middle.

The simple kiss seems to complete Michael’s joyful satisfaction brought on by her orgasm. She floats happily in this wonderful bliss, high on these feelings of lightness, of happiness and safety, of care and comfort…

How easy it would be to just say it…and from the softness of Philippa’s expression, the gentle way she holds Michael’s body, Michael can almost, _almost_ believe that such a declaration would be welcomed, perhaps even reciprocated…

 _Hormones,_ she negates, beating back foolish emotions with swift, cool logic. _An oxytocin overload._

_Get ahold of yourself._

Feeling slightly more sober now, Michael pulls Philippa in closer with an arm wrapped across her back, but a twinge in her lower spine quickly stops her.

“Ugh…hang on.” Michael breaks from the awkward position to shift between Philippa’s legs until she is finally sitting up. Philippa smiles and kisses her once, twice, three times, her happiness palpable in the shape of her lips against Michael’s.

“That was wonderful to watch,” Philippa whispers lightly, brushing their noses together after the third kiss. “Are you always able to do that?”

Michael feels herself blushing once more. “No…I—I’ve never…"

Worried thoughts begin to flicker through Michael’s mind at warp speed. Should she be embarrassed at climaxing so easily, so quickly? Without even being touched? Had she given too much away---

Her thoughts are swept away as Philippa kisses her again, pulling her body close with strong arms.

“I’m flattered,” Philippa murmurs against her lips, and by the _stars_ , how Michael loves it.

She feels quite reassured when they finally part.

Michael leans her forehead against Philippa’s, takes a long, steadying breath, and states, “I want to make you feel good like that.”

The declaration hangs between them, and before the words even have time to stop their ringing, Michael is pushing Philippa off of her, gently nudging her sideways onto the bed. Now free to move, Michael rises to a standing position in front of the window next to Philippa’s bed.

Her dress ripples in the warp-light as she shimmies her hips out of it. The fabric pools on the floor around her feet, and she pushes it gently to the side. Standing tall in only her underwear, Michael imagines the figure she must cut, her dark form illuminated by the shimmering blue warp behind her, curly hair catching and refracting the otherworldly light.

Philippa certainly seems to appreciate it, if the wideness of her eyes and part of her lips are anything to go by.

“You are… _stunning_ , Michael.”

Well.

 _That_ was definitely a good indicator as well.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Michael murmurs as she crawls atop Philippa, settling warmly in her lap. Her thighs part as she does, and the warmth between her legs from her earlier orgasm settles pleasantly in her core. Michael smiles at the sensation, and she bends to kiss Philippa once more.

Philippa returns the kiss, but Michael detects impatience in the curve of her lips, in the quiver of her shoulders. Her lips twitch at her captain’s dilemma, and Michael brings her fingertips up to Philippa’s breasts once more.

“Ahh…” Philippa’s back arches. She breathes pleasure against Michael’s lips as her eyes drop to half-mast. Michael’s thumbs rub the way Philippa’s had only minutes earlier, and Philippa gasps and wriggles against her fingers. Michael wonders vaguely if Philippa likes being touched here as much as she does.

The thought is intensely arousing.

Philippa’s arms wrap around Michael, and Michael squeaks in surprise as Philippa flops onto her back, pulling her along with her. Philippa chuckles, and Michael’s cheeks grow warm once more.

“I need you, Michael, I can’t…I can’t…without being touched, like you can…”

Michael knows full well what Philippa is asking for.

Still, never let it be said that she backs down from challenge.

“You sure about that?”

The question is delivered with warm humor and a challenging eyebrow, and Philippa gasps as Michael swoops down to her chest.

Her tongue slides across one pebbled nipple, her fingertips darting across the other. Philippa lets out an honest-to-God yelp, which does nothing but spur Michael onwards. She laps harder, lavishing the rose-pink bud with sweet attentions from her mouth, and her fingertips trace careful patterns on the nipple next to her. In a far-away part of her mind, Michael vaguely recalls psi-points, positioning and motions and an adolescence filled with pressure point techniques and contact tricks…

Never before have the Vulcan healing arts had such a vitally important application.

She presses her lips lower, dotting kisses across Philippa’s trembling ribcage. Open-mouthed kisses pressed to a certain spot on her right side makes Philippa sigh, and a light nip to the same place elicits a jump and a surprised laugh. Michael grins at the revelation, and tucks the newfound data collection away in her mind, squarely next to various quantum physics solutions and conjectures in the fields of anthropology.

Discovery and exploration, science and physics…

 _One and the same_ , Michael resolves as her lips meet Philippa’s navel, _regardless of the medium, the form, the function_ …

Her tongue darts into the crease, and Philippa’s hips jerk. “ _Oh---_ ” She mumbles several words in a foreign, lilting language; Michael recognizes the Malay, but not the meaning behind it.

With some trepidation, she realizes that she has reached the top of Philippa’s dress pants, and is now out of exposed spots to pleasure.

The thought of what she will have to do next makes Michael swallow, her chest filled with equal parts excitement and apprehension.

“Should I…go on?”

Philippa’s only response is a raised eyebrow. “I rather hope you will.”

Michael tentatively reaches beneath the waistband of the trousers, but Philippa stops her before she gets very far.

“What are we, cadets in our dorm room?” Philippa’s tone is miffed beyond belief, and Michael presses a hand over her lips to stifle her snort of laughter. She is pleased to see Philippa briefly grin back at her, even as her attention moves downwards.

With with deft fingers, Philippa undoes the clasps of her dress pants. With a quick wriggle of her hips, the pants are down her legs and pushed away across the floor. Thin black underwear starts to follows them down, and Michael kicks herself into action. She takes the dark fabric in her fingertips and pushes it down well-muscled thighs, over kneecaps and down slender calves. Philippa is still and silent as she does this, but Michael feels her anticipation in the twitch of her muscles.

Finally, the underwear is off, and Michael tosses it to the side. She turns back to Philippa, and her breath catches at the sight of long legs and pale skin.

It is not anything she hasn’t seen before, but never has she been so close, and never, _ever_ has she dared to touch…

“You alright, Number One?”

Philippa’s voice is playful, teasing, and above all, _knowing_. Michael’s cheeks grow hot once more.

“Never better,” she manages, eyes never leaving Philippa’s legs.

Philippa’s hand reaches for her own, tugging it towards her, and Michael sighs as her fingertips make contact with Philippa’s bare thigh. She admires the contrast of the dark skin of her hand against Philippa’s pale leg, rippling warp-light playing dancing across them both.

Her fingers tremble only a little as she touches and explores what had previously been hidden to her.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Michael?”

Michael hears the concern in Philippa’s lilting voice, but far from being embarrassed, she feels something in her chest grow warm and soft. She ducks her head and smiles softly, her nervousness easing just as soon as it began.

As if she should expect any less, from the woman who has always, _always_ made her feel safe.

“I’m alright…” She looks up into Philippa’s face, those beautiful, familiar features, the warm crinkles by her eyes, the rosy tint to her high cheekbones, the soft ivory of her skin…

“Thank you for asking.”

And Michael kisses her. She pulls Philippa’s slender frame close, kissing warm, supple lips, and wonders briefly if this is all she will ever get…

Not-dates at various Starfleet functions and events, kisses stolen in empty sparring chambers, sex beneath the flickering light of warp…

 _It is sufficient,_ Michael decides.

_It has to be._

Michael pushes Philippa backwards once more to lay flat on the bed. Her bare skin glows in the low light, her dark waves of hair surround her head like a halo, and Michael thinks that if there were any place in the universe to find an angel, of course it would be _here_ in this space-between-spaces, bathed in the blue light of this ethereal plane.

She leans down to kiss the hollow of Philippa’s throat, her collarbone, her sternum, even while one hand comes up to brush lightly across her trembling ribcage.

“ _Mmmh_ …” Philippa sighs beneath her, and Michael smiles into her chest.

She runs her tongue across Philippa’s right nipple, lapping gently, and Philippa twitches beneath her. Strong arms wrap behind Michael’s back, pulling her closer.

“Harder, Michael…”

Michael obliges, pulling the nipple into her mouth with a firm tug. She swirls her roughly, and Philippa cries out.

_Screw it._

Hungry now, Michael’s hand dips between Philippa’s legs.

And by the stars, Philippa is so wet that for a brief, foolish second, Michael feels concerned.

But in the next second, Philippa’s hips buck into her hand, she makes a high moan of approval, and Michael remembers herself. Her fingertips trace pathways through warm, wet heat, her face growing hot at the notion of touching her captain in such an intimate way.

“You-- Are…amazing,” Michael whispers, lips barely managing to form the words. “Exquisite…”

Her fingers trace higher; Michael wonders vaguely if Philippa prefers clitoral stimulation or penetration, as her previous female partners had all tended towards one or the other.

Best to test all hypotheses.

Philippa shakes beneath her as her thumb rubs over hot folds, searching ever-upwards, until--

“ _Guh!_ ” Philippa bucks into her hands as Michael finds what she was looking for. Smirking proudly, she traces around this slightly elevated point, recognizing the hardness beneath it as precisely what she is searching for.

Philippa shakes beneath her hand, gasping and crying out in equal parts. Michael feels utterly giddy from the thrill of it all, drunk on the heady rush of _power_ that is making the legendary Philippa Georgiou fall to pieces with a singular finger.

“Michael! _Ahhh…_ I--I need you inside me—“ Philippa bites out the words, and Michael tucks her thumb upwards, drawing a low moan.

Eager now, her first and middle finger move lower, and they plunge deeply, easily into the center of Philippa’s heat.

“ _Oh! --- ---_ ” And there is the Malay again, made musical by Philippa’s throaty voice. Michael’s head spins. Philippa ruts into her hand again and again and again, moaning with each jerk of her hips, her head thrown back, hair hopelessly disheveled.

Michael dimly remembers to twist her hand, placing her thumb back in a favorable position across Philippa’s clit. She adjusts and micro-adjusts, until finally one of Philippa’s upward bucking motions ends with a twitch and a sharp cry.

“ _Yes,_ there, oh _Gods_ \---“ And Michael can only watch as Philippa grinds wetly, frantically into her hand, pleasuring herself upon Michael’s fingers.

“ _Michael!…--- --- aku cinta kat kau — ---“_

The words are released between sharp gasps and hidden in a long babble of Malay syllables; nevertheless, Michael understands them, and their meaning.

The world tilts upon its axis.

Yet even as it does, Michael feels Philippa clench around her hand as her insides seize with pleasure. Her eyes squeeze shut, her teeth gritting hard as orgasm overtakes her.

Michael does not have to reflect upon her thirty-plus years of memories to know that she has never seen anything so beautiful in her entire life.

Finally, Philippa shakes out an exhale as her spine relaxes. Panting, she drapes an arm across her face, and Michael almost robotically removes her hand from between Philippa’s legs.

Philippa pulls her head up from the bed, and their eyes meet.

Michael realizes that she still wears the expression of stunned understanding, the one that lanced her features right open at the very moment she heard Philippa’s garbled declaration. She reaches desperately for her controls, her Vulcan fugue crashes back over her features, but it’s too late, too _late,_ Philippa’s face is already flashing with panic.

Before Michael can open her mouth to speak, Philippa is rolling out from under her, pawing across the bed to rise to her feet. Her pale, nude form takes the distance to her bathroom in quick strides. She snags a bathrobe off of a wall hook next to the doorway, tugging it over herself as she crosses the threshold.

The bathroom door hisses shut.

Michael jerks out of her shocked state at the sound.

_No…no no no…_

Michael clambers out of the bed in an ungainly tangle of limbs, and she searches the floor frantically _for something to cover herself_ , she tells herself, but she knows full well the real reason for this delay.

She is buying time.

So many things are fall into place now, here beneath the blue light of warp. So many of Philippa’s words and actions over the past few months, over the past few _hours_ , all inexplicable at the time, and Michael had chalked it up to Human inconsistencies, but in light of this new information, her body of utterly random data is very, very quickly becoming not-random, not even remotely…

She abandons her search of the floor, not even fully certain as to why she had tried to find clothes _there,_ of all places. Her bare feet brush lightly across the floor to Philippa’s dresser, and Michael feels only a brief twinge of guilt as she fishes in the middle drawer for a reasonably fitting shirt.

Why did Philippa have to be so damn small?

This new parameter is changing everything, and Michael cannot help but feel _foolish_ for not even considering such a possibility.

_It all makes sense…everything…_

The shirt is clearly for sleeping, the only reason why it drapes over Michael’s torso instead of hugging tightly.

_Everything makes sense._

Michael turns her gaze to the bathroom door, light peeking from where the door meets the floor. Minutes before, this task would have terrified her, but now Michael feels nothing but conviction.

She cannot lose Philippa, not now, _not_ _now_.

Quick strides take her to the closed door, and Michael taps gently on it.

No answer.

Michael lifts her wrist to knock again, and quickly realizes that she is being foolish. “I—I’m coming in Philippa, you can stop me, if…” She trails off, before thumbing the entry pad.

The door hisses open, revealing Philippa Georgiou in all of her glory, hunched over the sink, gripping the counter with white knuckles and ramrod-straight arms. Her hair falls in loose curtains obscuring her face, and the thin robe drapes over her slender frame like a Venetian gown.

She is nothing short of a goddess, but Michael will tell her this later.

“Did you mean it?”

Philippa doesn’t move for a brief second. Still, Michael can almost see the shift of her shoulders, the moment Philippa steels herself and draws to a stand. She turns around, and the sadness on her face takes Michael’s breath away.

“Of course,” comes the simple answer. Philippa’s mouth draws sideways, and she looks away. “I—I didn’t know you spoke Malay…”

“I don’t,” Michael denies in a soft voice, but even as she does, a sudden thought strikes her. “That--, That is, ” Michael stammers slightly as she gathers her courage, “I don’t speak very much…there is this though.”

She looks at Philippa, and the words spring to her lips as if placed there.

“ _Aku cintamu._ ”

Philippa jerks. She looks up, her eyes wide and stunned.

She is _so_ beautiful.

“I mean it.” Michael insists, and a note of fear enters her voice, quaking, terrible _fear_ at the prospect of losing Philippa now, when she is so very close to having her completely. She takes a slow, measured step towards Philippa. “I do.”

Philippa hesitates only a moment, before rushing forward. They reach for each other at the same time, and Philippa’s arms are tight and hard as she pulls Michael close. Michael grips Philippa’s body just as tightly, her captain’s beautiful, delicate body with strength coiled beneath.

Sweet blessed relief crashes through Michael, and she sags ever so slightly in Philippa’s grip.

There is nowhere else in the whole galaxy that she would rather be.

They stand like this for several long moments…perhaps minutes, perhaps entire hours. Michael breathes, and feels, and the universe shifts around her, time and space reworking itself into something entirely new, and utterly, dazzlingly _beautiful_.

“We’ve been fools,” Philippa finally mumbles into her shoulder, and Michael snorts into the fabric of her robe.

“I have heard that can be a side effect.”

Philippa is still for a moment, before she begins to laugh. Her body trembles with soft chuckles, the sound muffled in Michael’s shoulder. A wave of absurd happiness bursts in Michael’s chest, and her lips work themselves into a helpless, giddy smile.

She squeezes her eyes shut, tucks her face into Philippa’s shoulder, and swears she will never let her go, not ever again.

 

 


End file.
